“This must be the place, this is where I’ll be.”

It’s only been a year-and-a-half since Jane moved to the beach. Upon making this move, she still hasn’t figured out if she’s left her hometown, or if she’s returned to it.

As discussed in previous writings, Jane has found refuge in various, sometimes unexpected places: her 1997 Jeep Cherokee she basically lived out of when she was 45 minutes away from her friends in high school; that boy with the nice smile; her friends’ homes; that other boy with a great laugh; her college dorm; that boy who fell in love with her; her 1999 VW Cabrio; the tiny, mini teal-colored house small as a shoebox where she and her friends stayed at the beach one summer; and that boy who’s heart she broke.

It must be recognized that at one point Jane was thrilled with renting and moving and exploring and relocating at about the same time every year, when a lease would end or when she would terminate it, losing her security deposit. But Jane is no longer simply searching for a place to crash and doesn’t just want a roof over her head – she wants to reinvest in a home of her own.

So what makes a place “home?” Is it the people that encompass it, or an associated feeling? Can someone be in love with a feeling, a place – the company that it keeps?

In Dido’s song, “Life For Rent,” she sings, “If my life is for rent, and I don’t learn to buy, then I deserve everything that I get, cause nothing I have is truly mine.” But Jane doesn’t think Dido is referring to an actual house. Instead, it sounds like “buying” means permanence, a commitment. And being a 20-something, she wants to know whether or not to buy, especially in this market.

After all the parties have been attended, the guests have been accounted for and the Open Houses have been explored, being single can feel like being open to the elements with no safe harbor from other singles and their insecurities that stem from a certain lack of return.

Jane has also learned that paying rent gives her a sense of freedom, a very long leash, frolicking from one setting to another. But it has also left her broke at the end of a year, searching for a new place, without any kind of return on investment.

But what happens when one buys? Once every year there won’t be the fresh start found in moving and redecorating. However, committing to a certain type of permanence could allow Jane to look at the same thing in a different light. She can learn to appreciate the constant, the stability, while also finding new things she’d like to tweak and improve upon. Without leaving things behind, she can take her time in seeing something brand new, if she looks for the right things.

And with this, perhaps “home” actually doesn’t have to stay put, and one doesn’t have to stay put in order to establish a home. And this is where Jane turns on her Talking Heads album to hear the words, “Home is where I want to be…but I guess I’m already there.”